If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....

Jacob M. Appel
Some Similar Quotes
  1. I have something I need to tell you, " he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you,... - Veronica Roth

  2. I love you like a fat kid loves cake! - Scott Adams

  3. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. - Lemony Snicket

  4. When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?"... - Erma Bombeck

  5. And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders. - Cassandra Clare

More Quotes By Jacob M. Appel
  1. This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.

  2. Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to squeeze yourself smaller to fit inside the hopes of the other, until one of you cracks or stops existing.

  3. Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

  4. I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....

  5. Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.

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